Willow

In the past year I have had a challenge to deal with that is like no other in my life. I lost my memory. Not all of it, just huge chunks, random chunks. I did not remember starting this blog. I like it, is it nice and a good idea. But I had no recollection until I started to develop the Open Hands Creations page to talk about my artwork.

Rebuilding my memories has been a challenge and a struggle. I am weary of saying "I don't remember that". People just look at me with blank stares.

I can't stress too much about it, what can I do? Machines, electricity chopped off my branches, scarred me. I can only build new memories and work at recovering the old ones.

I lost alot this year - how much to share? I lost my family. Not all of it - my mom, my brothers and my son have been there. I have worked on getting back my relationships with my daughters, and it is slowly recovering. But my husband is gone. He left and is not coming back. He took my kids with him and my identity.

But over the last few months, I have been trying to regrow. I have sprouts, new growth. I struggle with limitations every day, but I WANT!

I want a life.

It's a start.

To begin with

I am dense forest full of beautiful trees. Some fallen and covered with beautiful moss and nests of ferns. Some just stretching towards the sun, spreading leaves, giving a little rustle.

I know some of my trees, but as big as a forest is, it would be impossible to know and understand each tree. See each of it's beauty, see each of it's purpose, love it unconditionally without fear.

In this blog, I hope to do several things. I want to search my forest to heal myself. I am a migraineur in a severe cycle. I may have one or two good days a week and then the drugs are always pulling at you. But, I have lately been focusing on my artwork, searching for others like me, and finding a place in this world that I can live with meaning.

Four of my favorite trees: my husband, my son, and my two daughters.